Anybody Seen Snooki?: Point Pleasant Beach, NJ

We may be dyed-in-the-wool urbanites, but that doesn’t mean that, come summer, we don’t crave cooling ocean breezes and sand between our toes as much as the next person. New York City boasts a plethora of sandy shores all suitable for daytrips by car or train. We chose Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, mostly because it afforded me the opportunity to crack jokes about the Jersey Shore.

Charlie and I hit the road bright and early, arriving in Point Pleasant around 10:30 AM to find plenty of empty parking spaces in lots ranging from $2.25 to $10.00 a day depending on beach proximity. The air temperature barely hit 70 degrees and the ocean was freezing and rough the day we were there, but that didn’t deter my six-year-old cold-blooded water baby from dashing pell-mell into the arctic surf, shouting and whooping in delight as the cold water lapped at the hem of his bathing suit.

We didn’t catch a glimpse of Snooki or any of her fellow Guidos or Guidettes (they actually rose to fame 11 miles down the road in Seaside Heights), but we did find a delightfully uncrowded expanse of beach, a mile-long boardwalk with an old-timey, retro, not-too-cheesy vibe, buff lifeguards cruising the beach on those groovy lifeguard dune buggy things (what are those called anyway?), candy apples, and miniature golf.

Not bad for an hour and a half drive from the city on a random Monday in the summer.

Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, Public beach access at the southern end of town; two bath houses with bathrooms and changing rooms can be found at the end of Broadway Avenue and at the end of Parkway Avenue and open at 9:00 AM, www.pointpleasantbeach.com.

Jenkinson’s Beach Boardwalk,, Most rides open between 10:00 AM and 12:00 PM, www.jenkinsons.com.

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Fifth Borough: The Staten Island Children's Museum

You thought I was going to forget about Staten Island, didn’t you? Although known as the “forgotten borough” and often mistaken for part of New Jersey, I would be remiss if I left out Staten Island, home to not only nearly half the cast of “Jersey Shore”--including Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino--but also to a children’s museum that is less expensive ($6 as opposed to $10), less crowded, and infinitely cooler than its Manhattan counterpart.

Start on the third floor in the Bugs and Other Insects exhibit, where kids can try on an exoskeleton, wend their way through a giant ant hill, watch bees in their hive, sort arthropods, and ogle over an emperor scorpion and tarantula.

Being a bug

The Ant Hill

Next, make your way around the corner to Charlie’s favorite exhibit, House About It. Children of all ages will delight in donning hardhats and neon orange vests, helping complete construction on a two-story frame house, operating a digger and wrecking ball, and bouncing up and down on a life-size level seesaw. This was probably my favorite exhibit, too, because there was no shortage of deep, wooden window seats where I could stretch out comfortably and check my email while the kids channeled their inner construction workers. (What? You didn’t think I played with my kids all the time, did you? My new favorite line, borrowed from a friend’s mother, is actually, “I’m your mother, not your playmate.”)

"Look, lady, the only thing I can guarantee is that it's going to take twice as long and cost twice as much. Capiche?"

Take a break in the museum’s Snack Zone, which has vending machines and a limited menu, but also allows you to bring in your own food. Then visit the Great Explorations exhibit where kids can trek through a rain forest, dive to the bottom of the ocean, build an igloo, and cross piranha-infested waters on a wooden raft.

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the Amazon...

By now, the kids are probably nearing their saturation point (that’s a euphemism for “whining to beat the band”), so hit one last exhibit on your way out. We opted for Ladder 11, where Charlie and Vivi, disguised in fire helmets, uniforms, and airpacks, slid down the firepole to their waiting firetruck and responded to all sorts of imaginary five-alarm fires throughout the city.

Auditioning for the 2011 Staten Island Fireman Calendar

Make a note of the exhibits for which you didn’t have time today (Portia’s Playhouse, Block Harbor, Sea of Boats, and The Big Game), so that you can visit them the next time you come.

Finish the day at R.H. Tugs, a nearby, child-friendly restaurant which is rumored to have been where Madonna’s 1986 “Papa Don’t Preach” video was filmed and serves up standard barfare, along with great views of the tugboats and cargo ships going by.

Staten Island Children’s Museum, 1000 Richmond Terrace, Staten Island, NY (on the grounds of Snug Harbor Cultural Center), (718) 273-2060, www.statenislandkids.org; Hours: Tuesday to Sunday: 12:00 PM to 5:00 PM (when New York City public schools are open); 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM (when New York City public schools are closed); Admission: $6 for people one year and older; Grandparents are free on Wednesdays.

R.H. Tugs Restaurant and Bar, 1115 Richmond Terrace, Staten Island, NY, (718) 447-6369, www.rhtugs.com.